It took longer than expected to shuffle through the darkness of the valley. Mental quicksand feels like a good way to describe it. Slowly, you sink… the more you struggle, the deeper you get. Every lifeline seems out of reach. But slowly, you shift, and you crawl, and you claw yourself back up on to firm ground.
A lot can happen in five years. New jobs, new lives, new ways to avoid picking up where you left off. It’s been long enough that the despair from the publishing shills has worn off. Let’s check that off the bucket list.
Listeners have likely fallen by the wayside due to the long hiatus. But I’m here, again, hoping I can get this idea train to pick up speed and leave the station far behind.
Hardness remains where hope once was. What didn’t kill me has made me stronger, stranger and ready to do some damage.
Can’t wait till I have some peppers ready!
I’ve been meaning to share my chilli sauce recipe with you for a while, and now that I’m having my second miraculous straight day at my computer I’ll have at it. This is a very malleable and forgiving recipe – it’s also great fun. Just don’t fiddle around with your eyeballs for a bit afterwards.
Apple Cider Vinegar (around 2 cups for this batch)
Juice of 2 fat lemons (or more – you can change with vinegar as per your own preference)
1 Whole head of garlic – peeled and chopped
2 Chopped medium onions
About a finger-length chopped Lemongrass (optional)
1 teaspoon Salt (or to taste)
4 to 5 Cups snipped green Chillies
You’ll need a blender for this recipe.
I suggest using empty, unwashed Vodka bottles for storage to begin with.
1. Put the lemon juice, salt, half of the vinegar, the garlic, onions…
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The humdrum of the ferocious winter is finally starting to lift <it’s Spring damnit, start acting like it!> and as the snow clears and the comfort food coma lifts, the focus on the year ahead starts to come in to focus. (I know, I know, we’re almost 4 months in to the new year already, so sue me!)
In the deep winter tundra, everything takes two times longer than you think it should. Getting dressed <6 layers might be enough to keep me warm in the -20 walk from the parking lot>, getting to work <I haven’t seen a snow plow in hours, is that an intersection or a white out?>, even getting groceries becomes a task equal to that of scaling Everest. Needless to say, for those of us in the North, in the winter things seem to go just a little bit slower as keeping warm, fed and out of the ditch consumes both our waking and sleeping hours. (Try waking up at 3am to a house that’s 30 degrees because the furnace. just. couldn’t.)
After the temperate torture sessions have finally lifted, it’s easier to get back to thinking of things that are ‘enjoyable,’ not just necessary for survival. Back to the keys, back to the projects, back to setting up in a little pool of sunshine and letting the imagination run wild.
I’m waiting on baited breath to be able to announce the formality of some shenanigans that have been in the works for almost a year now. It’s exciting on many levels, and daunting on the rest. But even when the snow is blowing and everything seems dormant, rest assure that the roots are gaining strength and preparing to burst out in flagrant <and maybe fragrant> color at the first sign of light.
This year promises to be all Lion and no Lamb.
I’ve been waiting to post something until I had something nice to say. It’s been a whirlwind summer and I’m still recovering. Lots of new things, lots of old things, and lots of tiring things.
I’ll start simple.
I like leather.
I like wine.
I ordered new business cards! Woo!
Now, why is it only Tuesday?
Why keep trying to beat someone at a game you don’t want to play? Interests and focuses evolve and change as we learn new things about our world and ourselves.
THEY say “Hold On!” But whose dreams am I holding on to? What do you do when you realize you’re still trying to measure yourself by goals you set before you even joined the adult world? Naive expectation based on the way things “should” be, informed only by hope, logic and fairy tales.
This is not the way of the world.
The legacy of civilization carries with it inherent flaws which have defied evolution, lurking in the shadows of subtext. A generation is a small window of time, educated by its peers and environmental influences; it fails to grasp the bigger picture of how the machine began or the necessary evils that make it tick.
There is no level playing field and there never will be.
I neither want nor expect to have the life I wanted at 20. The world changed, forcefully, not long after that. The bright hopes on the horizon flickered and faded. Things got harder, things got leaner and the competition for merely enough to pay the bills increased.
It’s been that way ever since. Wondering when the other shoe is going to drop has become a way of life. Someone stole the brass ring and sold it for scrap.
It’s a new game… the old rules are useless.